“Did you finish your homework?”
“Yes.”
“Did you break the vase?”
“No!”
Most parents have caught their children lying at some point – and while it can be frustrating, new research suggests occasional lying during childhood is completely normal and usually not a sign of serious behavioural problems. A new study published in the journal Development and Psychopathology has found that most children who lie occasionally grow up without criminal behaviour, personality disorders, or major mental health issues. Researchers say lying is often a normal part of child development and learning.
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Childhood lying is more common than parents think
Researchers from McGill University in Montreal tracked more than 3,000 French-speaking children in Quebec from childhood into early adulthood. The study followed the children from ages 6 to 19, analysing patterns of lying alongside behaviours such as impulsivity and aggression.
Parents and teachers regularly provided reports on the children’s behaviour. Researchers then grouped the children based on different “lying trajectories” – including children who lied occasionally, frequently, increasingly, or less over time. The findings were reassuring for parents. Most children showed low or decreasing levels of lying as they grew older.
Researchers emphasized that occasional dishonesty is often part of normal emotional, social, and cognitive development.
“Most children in our study showed low or declining levels of lying over time,” said lead researcher Victoria Talwar, professor of educational and counseling psychology at McGill University.
Why do children lie?
Experts say children often lie for simple reasons – to avoid punishment, gain approval, protect someone’s feelings, or test boundaries. In younger children, especially, lying may reflect imagination and curiosity more than malicious intent.
As children grow, they also begin developing social awareness and emotional intelligence. Learning when honesty matters and understanding consequences are skills that evolve gradually with age. Psychologists note that occasional lying can even signal healthy brain development because it requires memory, planning, and self-control.
When lying may become a concern
While most childhood lying is harmless, the study found that persistent or increasing dishonesty over many years may sometimes be linked to deeper behavioural issues.
Children who lied frequently and consistently were more likely to display aggression, impulsive behaviour, and conduct problems during childhood. These children also faced a higher risk of criminal convictions or antisocial personality traits as young adults. However, researchers stress that punishment alone is not the answer. “Persistent and increasing lying across time – especially when combined with aggression and impulsivity – could signal the need for early support and intervention rather than reactive punishment,” Talwar explained.
How parents should respond
Child psychologists recommend staying calm when children lie. Instead of harsh punishments, parents should focus on building trust, encouraging honest communication, and understanding the reason behind the lie. Experts suggest parents should:
- Avoid overreacting to minor lies
- Praise honesty whenever possible
- Teach children about consequences and accountability
- Create a safe environment where kids feel comfortable telling the truth
The study also helps reduce stigma around childhood lying and reminds parents that occasional dishonesty is usually part of growing up, not a sign their child is headed for serious trouble.