Shobhit Nirwan, an education influencer, reveals a rather simplistic but important truth about communication: most communication problems arise not from people’s inability to speak, but to listen.
In the world where everyone tries to communicate well, sound intelligent, and appear as confident speakers, Shobhit Nirwan sheds light on a very neglected aspect of life.
As Shobhit Nirwan pointed out, “90% of communication problems are actually listening problems in disguise.”
It may be a very simple phrase but its effect is huge because it reverses the common understanding of the term.
He points out that the world we live in is one which favors those who make the loudest voices heard. There is much importance placed on speaking abilities and presentations but not on the only ability which allows communication to happen at all listening.
Listening is Not About Waiting to Speak
And as Nirwan says, “Not waiting for your turn to speak and not half hearing while forming your next point and actually being present in what the other person is saying before you respond.” Through which it is very clear that is where most of us falter.
We don’t listen but prepare ourselves to speak. We listen only to respond and not to comprehend. And there lies the failure of the entire process of communication.
The Reason Behind Conflicts and Lost Opportunities
And rightly so observes Shobhit Nirwan said that,“ Most conflicts at work do not happen because someone said the wrong thing and they happen because someone never felt heard in the first place”. This line helps us understand many things.
Many arguments, disagreements, and broken connections have nothing to do with words but more with a sense of being overlooked.
And he further states that, “ Most opportunities are missed not because the conversation went badly but because one person was too busy making their point to notice what the other person actually needed.”In other words, we miss out on opportunities not by saying the wrong thing, but simply not noticing what is important to the other person.
Qualities of an Excellent Communicator
According to him, excellent communicators are not necessarily great speakers.
As Shobhit Nirwan put it: “The best communicators I have ever met were not the best speakers and they were the ones who made you feel like what you were saying genuinely mattered to them.”
This experience is not common. And it is very strong.
He describes it as something that may create more trust during a conversation than “a hundred perfectly delivered presentations.”
Instead of working on how to speak better, he recommends improving listening skills first.
As he put it: “Before you work on how you speak spend some time on how you listen”
Because, in the end, “the quality of your relationships, your decisions, and your leadership will always be reflected by the quality of your attention.”
Shobhit Nirwan’s idea is quite clear that communication doesn’t mean being heard, it means making others feel heard.
And sometimes, the most powerful words are no words at all.
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