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Suddenly, their texting style is annoying. Their laugh is irritating. A tiny disagreement feels like evidence that the relationship is doomed. Or perhaps there is an overwhelming need to pick a fight, withdraw, become emotionally unavailable or start wondering whether someone ‘better’ is out there. Welcome to the extremely inconvenient world of relationship self-sabotage. Self-sabotage does not necessarily mean someone wants their relationship to fail. Quite often, it can be a form of self-protection. Fear of vulnerability, rejection, abandonment and intimacy can make emotional closeness feel risky, particularly for people who have experienced painful or unpredictable relationships in the past.